Being Irresponsible

I haven't been visiting my own blog for weeks!! Guess there is no point giving excuses that I was busy with my own stuff, but now is the perfect excuse to be here - it's 6.45am, work starts at 9 and I haven't slept.

Spent whole night turning around the bed, trying not to think about project assignments, about computers, about shitty on-call customers, in the end it gets difficult trying to think of not thinking about it and gets me nervous. I can sense that I have been breathing unnaturally heavy, and making my stomach full of air which in makes me sick.

How do I stop this as I would LOVE to quit my job and go back being irresponsible. Back to the days where I sleep 3am and wake up 12pm, nothing to worry about, nothing to pressure about while I eat, shit and sleep of my parents money they transfer me every month. Maybe I'm still not used to working life or maybe I need a break, but I can't lie to myself that my term of 'break' now would indirectly mean a retirement plan.

7am already. 30 minutes left for rest before pulling myself to the bathroom and restarting my whole week again.

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